Dorothy Parker’s reasons to live

The 13th of the month is as good a day as any for an affirmation of life. Grin and bear it.

Résumé
Dorothy Parker

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

Now read her New York Times obituary published in June 1967: Dorothy Parker, 73, Literary Wit, Dies. (She had a heart attack.) The obit’s full of lovely gems such as this brilliant quote from her:

Wit has truth in it. Wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.

It also quotes this brilliant putdown:

“Are you Dorothy Parker?” a woman at one party inquired. “Yes, do you mind?” the humorist retorted.

Bookmark the obit if you like — and see what happens if you try to copy and paste.

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